The After-Affect

The resounding message emerging from the past couple of years has been…

“I just can’t cope the way I used to!”

“I’m not sure what’s wrong with me!”

“I feel different than I used to…”

Phrases similar to these have frequented the mouths of clients visiting my counselling room over the past two years. So much more than previously. In their multitudes.

Many people have reached their limit.

They’ve hit their ceiling. And in moments of honesty they admit to feeling ‘broken’, feeling unsure if they’ll ever find a way back to life as they once knew it.

The course of life as most of us know it has changed in one way or another over the past few years. For some, life appears to keep moving forward with relatively little change. For others life has changed dramatically. And yet others find themselves on the continuum somewhere in between.

We could attribute this to a whole number of different things that we’ve experienced, and I want to acknowledge that this is the starting point, however this is not the point or focus of my writing this piece.

The After-Affect

I’m more interested here in taking a look at the AFTER-AFFECT of those experiences and how to bring some level of understanding and confidence back into people’s lives after enduring varying levels of uncertainty.

One thing I know for sure. Unless we find a way of processing through our questions, our life transitions (both positive and challenging), our pain etc…we will find ourselves getting STUCK at one point or another. Denying, ignoring, positive thinking or wishing away our internal pain will never bring healing or resolution to it. Having a “stiff upper lip” and “soldiering on” may be a noble, culturally acceptable approach, and even necessary at times, but as a long-term way of navigating life’s challenges there is no longevity in it for quality of life.

So how do we find our way forward?

There is so much to say, but I will keep it brief here. Whatever the specifics of your AFTER AFFECT, I want to highlight that what almost every person I have worked with in this space is navigating is a Dysregulated Nervous System.

A nervous system that is in a state of overwhelm, with a sense of powerlessness to change. The triggers brought on by stress and trauma continue to impact the nervous system once the trigger itself has been removed.

The goal moving forward? Nervous System Regulation.

Essentially, learning how to adapt so we are not so overwhelmed when we encounter (stressful) change in our environment. Then, recovering once the stressor is removed. Giving us back a sense of agency, with a growing confidence and security as we gain understanding and capacity to navigate the world as we choose.

When our nervous system is regulated, being in our bodies gives us a sense of safety and security.

Nervous system regulation is not a destination, rather a daily practice we engage in.

Mel Singh

There is no one size fits all remedy to healing a dysregulated nervous system. There are many and varied approaches (which I will discuss next time). All of which are worthy of consideration, depending on your unique circumstances, as you take one step at a time toward increased nervous system regulation.

With you on the journey,

Glenda x

Stay tuned for more on these approaches to improve nervous system regulation.

Read more about nervous system regulation from world renowned Polyvagal expert here